Thanks in no small part to the pandemic, plant parenthood has become a mainstay in many people’s homes. However, it’s not exactly hard to see why that might be intimidating for those whose knack for gardening is … well, non-existent. That said, if you’ve grown to accept that killing plants is in your nature, there is an alternative. Step away from the real deal — this is a job for artificial plants.
There’s no denying that gardening brings a lot of joy to a lot of people, but if the thought of keeping your plants alive fills you with nothing more than a pronounced sense of impending doom, you’re probably not one of those people. Luckily, that doesn’t mean your garden is forever destined to be devoid of any plants. Au contraire, it certainly can be. The plants just might not be alive to begin with.
As seen in a post by TikToker @cclizz24, all it takes is finding super realistic-looking artificial plants and popping them into planters around your garden. Simple as can be, with very little maintenance necessary. Plus, if you really want to impress anyone who comes into your home, you can even swap the plants out, season by season. No green thumb? No problem!
Good quality, sun-safe fakes are non-negotiable
@cclizz24
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♬ Funny – Gold-Tiger
If you are thinking of going the our-little-secret garden route, we can’t stress this point enough. Your plants might not be real, but they absolutely have to look as though they are. Skimping here would be a big mistake — quality is the key to pulling off this sneaky move.
Ideally, pop into a physical store that stocks artificial plants, so you can see what they look like in real life. Alternatively, Walmart’s website has a ton of realistic-looking options, like Boston ferns for around $15, and fake grass for under $10. Feeling like you can pull off an even bigger ruse? Walmart also stocks incredibly realistic artificial trees for under $60. And, if you’re really confident, Amazon stocks sets of two topiary trees for around $140. Pop your purchases into some chic planters, and there’s a good chance no one will ever know.
Another thing you definitely need to keep in mind, when shopping for artificial plants, is that they’re UV-protected. Brittle, sun-damaged plastic is hard not to notice, and it’ll be a dead giveaway that your garden is a fraud. For that reason, even if your plants are protected, it’s not a bad idea to invest in a UV spray off Amazon for around $15. In addition to the sun factor, it’s also important to look into the care instructions of your specific product. Sometimes, even UV-protected products aren’t weather-resistant, so be sure to check before placing it in an exposed spot.
You’ll still need to care for the fake plants
Unfortunately for anyone thinking the faux route was a one and done, you’re not quite off the hook. UV protection and careful placement aside, you’ll also need to do semi-regular check-ins on your grounds. Ironically, UK-based artificial plant brand, Evergreen Direct, recommends watering the products (ahem, plants).
According to the brand, a spritz with a sprinkler is a great way to clean off everything your fake plants are exposed to in the great outdoors. Even more ironically, they also suggest using a leaf blower for things like dust. Hey, on top of being a good way to care for your plants, it’ll also go a long way in keeping up appearances. Nothing to see, here — you’re just watering your garden and ridding it of dropped leaves, as a gardener would do. Plus, it’ll certainly help you when someone asks for the secrets to your always-luscious garden.
If you’re not entirely averse to some actual gardening, we do recommend adding in some real plants, here and there. It might even be a way to help you ease into real gardening if it doesn’t feel like there’s as much pressure to cultivate an entire yard. More importantly, though, it’s another way to maintain the ruse that the rest of your garden is real. After all, who would have fake plants and real ones in one garden? A genius, that’s who — albeit one sans a green thumb.
